$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
