I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
