Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
