i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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