Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
