I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Randomize
