Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
