I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
