Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
