I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
