i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
