see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize