what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
