I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
