suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
