no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
