Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
