Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize