First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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