I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
