Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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