oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
