are you still at the devil's house?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
