Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
