But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
