If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just had sex bonerless
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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