careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
