relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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