whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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