i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
