We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
