I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
