did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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