No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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