I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
