if you like me you must not know who I am
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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