so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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