Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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