I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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