I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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