He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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