I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize