i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
