A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
