Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
