My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
