I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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