I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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