if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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