After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize