I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
