I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
