so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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