Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
