I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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