i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
