So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have post one night stand depression
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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