Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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