I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
