i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
